How to use a remote control

Remote ControlHave you come across my blog because I’m campaigning against those who are campaigning against Jerry Springer the Opera being screened on BBC2?
Do you disagree with me?
If so, I think I need to teach you the wonders of the TV and the Remote Control.

When a programme is on that you don’t like, you pick up the Remote Control with either hand, and using your fingers, you can press a button, which will:
a) change the channel to BBC1 (normally the one with 1 on it, although UP or LEFT should work), which is showing Billy Conolly and Match of the Day
b) change the channel to ITV1 (the one with 3 on it, or try DOWN or RIGHT), which is showing Ultimate Force and The Eiger Sanction
c) change the channel to Channel 4 (although if you don’t like Jerry, I’m guessing your not going to like Jackie Brown)
d) one of the other 100’s of channels that might be available to those with Cable, Satellite or Freeview
e) TURN IT OFF (normally the Red button at the top)

It’s really that easy!

Please complain to the BBC

Help Save Jerry Springer the OperaFollowing the collection of these websites, could everybody please email / ring / fax / post the BBC with requests to screen Jerry Springer the Opera.
The last count for the BBC was 15,000 complaints, so lets at least get some positive emails out there, followed by more after it’s aired.

[edited 22:40]

You can contact the BBC via [email protected]
After the show is aired, you can then contact Ofcom
Spread the word, add this to your blog:

Jerry Springer The Opera

The BBC are airing this on BBC2 this Saturday, as somebody who has seen it twice, and have the soundtrack, I think it’s quite funny that people are already complaining.

In the letter from mediawatch-UK to the BBC they say

The continuous stream of obscene and profane language, as well as the debauched behaviour that characterised Mr Springer’s TV shows, is unacceptable and will alienate a large number of viewers. Licence fee payers do not expect the BBC to be pushing back boundaries of taste and decency in this way

I thought that most programming alienated a large number of viewers. Not everybody watches the World Cup, Eastenders, Ground Force or Little Britain. However the BBC needs to target each group of society with programmes they want to watch. I’m pretty sure that most of my peers will enjoy this show.

They then go on to say

Bearing in mind that there is already mounting public concern and an absence of any assurance regarding compliance, we believe that the decision to show ‘Jerry Springer The Opera’ should be urgently reconsidered at the highest level within the BBC. There must be other West End productions that would be more enjoyable and appreciated by a far greater number of licence-fee payers? Why not, for example, screen a seasonal pantomime, with well-known and liked television and radio personalities, currently showing at provincial theatres across the country?

Yes a panto, that will really cater for the 18-30’s market which BBC2 are trying to reach!

Blogger Javascript Hack

This weekend I came up with a script that would allow you to have the post title in your HaloScan window and also have the Next and Previous post links on the Item Pages.

IF YOUR CODE HAS STOPPED WORKING, IT’S BECAUSE I’VE MOVED A FILE, PLEASE MODIFY YOUR TEMPLATE AS PER STEP 4

Now it’s a bit tricky, and a bit messy, but here’s how to do it.
Note, you will need a remote file hosting system!

Step 1.
In the Blogger settings, on the Formatting page make a note of every setting.
Then change Show to 999 Posts, and Timestamp Format to a date output setting (I choose Sunday, January 02, 2005).
Hit Save Settings, but do not Republish your blog.

Step 2.
In the Template page, copy your template in to a text editor like Notepad, and save it. The replace the whole template with

var blogger = new Array;
<blogger>blogger[‘<$BlogItemNumber$>’] = Array(“<$BlogItemTitle$>”, “<$BlogItemPermalinkURL$>”, “<$BlogItemDateTime$>”);
</blogger>

Then hit Preview.
In the Preview window, view the page source, select all the text and copy it in to a text editor. You will need to remove everything above:

var blogger = new Array;

and also

</body>
</html>

from the bottom.
Save it as post_data.js and upload it to your file space.

Step 3.
Restore all your settings.

Step 4.
In your blogger template add the following lines between the head tags

<script type=”text/javascript” src=
“http://WWW.YOURWEBSITE.COM/post_data.js”> </script>
<script type=”text/javascript” src=
“https://blog.artesea.co.uk/js/previous_next_post.js”> </script>

With WWW.YOURWEBSITE.COM the location where you uploaded the post_data.js file.

Then you can add the following lines, where best suited (although they must be between the <Blogger> tags).

<ItemPage>
<script type=”text/javascript”>
var BlogItemNumber = ‘<$BlogItemNumber$>’;
var previousArray = previousPost(blogger, BlogItemNumber);
if(previousArray[0] == ”) document.write(‘&lt;&lt; Previous | ‘);
else document.write(‘<a href=”‘ + previousArray[1] + ‘” title=”‘ + previousArray[0] + ‘ (‘ + previousArray[2] + ‘)”>&lt;&lt; Previous</a> | ‘);
</script>
<a href=”<$BlogURL$>” title=”Home”>Home</a>
<script type=”text/javascript”>
var nextArray = nextPost(blogger, BlogItemNumber);
if(nextArray [0] == ”) document.write(‘ | Next &gt;&gt;’);
else document.write(‘ | <a href=”‘ + nextArray[1] + ‘” title=”‘ + nextArray[0] + ‘ (‘ + nextArray[2] + ‘)”>Next &gt;&gt;</a> ‘);
</script>
</ItemPage>

You’ll then need to save your template, and republish the whole blog.

Step 5.
If you use HaloScan, and are a Premium Member you can add these two lines of code to your HTML Template.
Between the HEAD tags add:

<script type=”text/javascript” src=”http://WWW.YOURWEBSITE.COM/post_data.js”> </script>

And where you want the title of the post to appear add:

<script type=”text/javascript”>document.write(‘<br /><a href=”‘ + blogger[‘{HSPageID}’][1] + ‘”>’ + blogger[‘{HSPageID}’][0] + ‘</a>’); </script>

Hopefully it should all work after these steps, if you have any problems, leave a comment. The only problem is that you’ll need to generate the javascript code after every post, and that you’re limited to only 999 posts.